I've been frothing over this new DJ program I got on my computer and have just been straight up nerdbotting out on that shit! I have come up with a bunch of DJ names abd I'm pretty sure I've got one that's here to stay but I ain't ready to reveal it to the public just yet. I'm on my way to bright horizons filled with electro hell tunes, spilled beer, flashing boobs, cigarette burns on my ass, waking up in random hotel rooms, tour stops in Bakersfield, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and of course lots and lots of flannel but I won't know that I've made it as a DJ until I reach a level of frothyness like Cut Copy! Here they are just striz-aight up owning and boning:
Just saw this on Grindtv.com, come on Wardo, get it togetha brotha, we need this one lil buddy! "LES BOURDAINES, France –When pro surfers travel great distances in a short amount of time there are always repercussions, and the Quik Pro in France has certainly seen its share. Both CJ Hobgood and Chris Ward are the early casualties.
Competitors had less than 48 hours to get settled in France after the completion of the Hurley Pro. Hobgood arrived half asleep. Before hitting the sack he dragged his quiver of boards out to the balcony of the same rental flat that he’s been renting year after year, then woke up to find them missing.
“He thought it was a joke at first,” said his coach Chris Gallagher. “All his magic boards were gone. CJ’s pretty much a dwarf, so it’s not like those things are easy to ride. And they’re pretty easy to spot, so we’ve put out an award.”
Meanwhile, Chris Ward’s whereabouts remained a mystery as his Round One heat got underway. Contest officials and his fellow competitors were uttering the ubiquitous “Where’s Wardo?” theme. Speculation is Wardo was confused by the event location going mobile, and was probably sitting on some lonely beach in the early morning fog.
Wardo needn’t worry. He’ll be able to make his Round Two heat. After today, he’ll be joining the likes of CJ Hobgod, Mick Fanning, Bede Durbidge and Adriano De Souza in that round. The aforementioned all came up short in their Round One heats, and have been sent to the losers round. Meanwhile, Slater, Parko, Taj, Dane and Jordy all looked solid today, and have jumped directly to Round Three. More to come…stay tuned." Full Article here
Sometimes when you stroke your own ego off too much you start to creep yourself out, your pubes turn grey, and you can't even look at yourself in the mirror anymore...
I ain't no narcissist but I'm sure as hell not afraid to occasionally shed some light on the interesting things goin on in my life. However, today shall be different! Today is not about me, it's not about you, it's about all the other guys out there putting in countless nerdbot hours behind their computer thinking of funny, interesting, and ultimately entertaining shit (sometimes relevant to surfing) to write about and hopefully get at least one of you laughing and eventually hook you in like a fish! After all, where would I be today if I had no footsteps to follow and no blueprint to go by? (Probably still frothing in IV, getting weird as the Dojo Grand-Daddy, surfing shit peskies, growing my beard out to my nips, and living with ice heads like Pirate and Karms at Dog Shit park in one of those VW buses surrounded by maggots and foot patrol horse shit! Just a random guess?).
Anyways, back to what I was saying... oh yeah, I owe a lot to the other surf blogs out there! I particularly owe a lot to the blogs who make mine look actually kinda cool by being so shitty, but we won't even go there today. Today we're talking about the ones that have truly inspired me, the ones that have given me hope of a bright future, and have shown me that, regardless of what others say, people ACTUALLY read! The following blogs are my Favorite Surf Blogs for various reasons and should be respected and given props to for the masterpieces that they truly are!
1.).TV/DIONThe godfather of surf blogs and inventor of the Kerr-Agius Flip, Mr. Dion Agius's blog brought to you by Globe Shoes.
Dion does mental innovative airs in the water and partys like a savage out of it. He's been in the blogging game for quite some time and been killin it ever since! With a blog chalk full of hot babes, electro hell vibes, sick surf shots, and videos that'll leave you frothing at the mouth, it's about effing time Surfline featured his shit on their site!
Just another walk in the park for Dion's blog...
As you can tell above, Dion's got quite the eye for good art. Props to Dion & Globe for seeing potential in something, taking it and running with it, and literally starting a whole forest fire full of surf stoked blogs that hope to some day accomplish (and root) as much as you have. Cheers mate!
Paul Fisher aka The Fish is fucking mental! The guy is everything you wish you were and does everything you think about doing but are too scared to do. He is: The Most Interesting Man Ever. With a blog full of epic videos that scream: "I don't give a fuck, no seriously I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK!" you are sure to get a barrell of laughs when you visit his site. This guy lives life to the fullest and if you ain't part of his wild party, I suggest you get a liver replacement, at least that way you'll have some sort of handicap when trying to keep up! Take a look for yourself, at a day in the life of The Fish:
The Fish is known for his heli-cock-ter wild party animal antics, his electro hell DJ skillz, rooting myrts, showin up in his birfday suit, drinking kooks under the table, and straight up bringing the party where ever he goes. Also, behind all that good shit, the guy is a pretty damn good surfer and rides for Reef and DHD. Be sure to check out his site, his videos, and be on the look out for his next DJ gig! Who knows, he could be busting a heli-cock-ter soon in a grimy bar near you!
With a picture like that and words that so elegantly compliment such a disturbing image, how could you not immediately be hooked to Lewis Samuel's Post Surf blog? You may remember him as the guy who used to do the power rankings for Surfline until he wrote an article that jeopardized a few people and, well, the rest is history. After his writing stint with Surfline, he ventured off into a solo career and continued to post his brutally truthful yet hilarious antics on his own blog. If anyone were to be compared to as the Perez Hilton of the surf blog world, Lewis takes the cake. He has uber strong opinions, hilarious analogies, relevant yet intriguing information, comical photos and captions, and he sure as hell ain't scared to say what's on his mind (an admirable characteristic that would get most of us shot).
Unfortunately, a few weeks ago Lewis wrote his supposed last post on his blog and entitled it his Epilogue. Viewers around the world mourned the death of surfing's most unique blog of all time that day. Fortunately enough, the stars realigned and one of the greatest collaborations since Ren & Stimpy, got together and are ready to fuck shit up! That's right, this past Saturday, Lewis wrote an article for Stab Mag and it seems evident that we'll be able to find him right where he belongs! Keep your eyes peeled for more to come with Lewis and Stab but in the meantime, scroll through the classic posts of Post Surf and you'll be sure to laugh your arse off mate!
Well there you have it creeps, those are my 3 favorite blogs at the moment. Key word: "at the moment". If you think your blog or know of a blog that is better, funnier, got hotter babes, bigger airs, and bigger tits then go ahead and drop me a line and I'll let you know what I think!
In the meantime, here are some of my homie's surf blogs that continually inspire and motivate me! Keep your eyes peeled, these blogs are definitely on their way up the ranks:
Thanks to Dion Agius's blog a while back, I was introduced to the radness that is Phoenix. Every now and then I had the occasional run in with some of their songs through purchased playlists, but it wasn't until Nick Po of Crap re-enlightened me of their mystical musical powers that I realized these guys were sick! Unfortunately you probably know their most popular song entitled "1901" from K-Roq or that gay ass mini van commercial, but that song's still tight nonetheless. These guys bring am Electro Pop that straight up is like comparing a big stick to a dum dum pop: MASSIVE! So if you're feelin like you oughta take a lil breather from the harder shit and kick off your shoes for some relax time or possbily a lil after noon delight with your special someone, slip this in, crank up the volume, and let 'er ride!
Unfortunately some of the best Phoenix tracks aren't online (like Armistice, Girlfriend, Lasso...) so go and buy the album, you won't regret it! In the meantime, the following Phoneix songs are sure to at least get you a make out (froth):
This Wednesday Guns In The Sun brings you one of the most epic line ups since Fraggle Rock met The Punisher! No, pin head Paris won't be there (just put her name in the title to get more hits) but get ready to get your Electro froth on cause this party ain't gonna stop till da roof comes off! With highly anticipated musical performances from such nova killers as:
with such a phenomenal line up, how the hell could you not get in your roller skate on wheels and get your silly ass down to the Garter (2536 Lincoln Blvd. @ Washington & Lincoln) for a drink or 12?! With drink specials like 2 for 1 Jack & Cokes, the night is certainly gonna be a fine line of playing just the tip with a drink or 2 or going full throttle and saying "fuck work tomorrow", I'm doing this thing the right way: Weird, Wild, and Free! Either way, sack up and put on your dancin shoes, your garter belts, your AMPAL cap, your munster pants, anti-flannel shirts, Crap shades, suspenders, knee highs, and your nerdbot specs cause shit is gonna get Frothy and Foggy up in this place, that's for sure!
Unfortunately dreams don't always come true but they sure as hell can come close!
This Saturday, while I laid in my half pipe of a bed, in a state of bed ridden hell, I watched the Trestles final in and out of sleep. Of course everyone wanted to see the dream final of Slates Vs Dane-O but Slater some how choked in the semi against Eugene and alas it was da White Lightening vs Da Docta!
Here at Surf Ambassador Hendo we pride ourselves in weird things, weirdness, and just straight up being weird! What comes to mind when you hear the word "Weird Surf Phenomenon"? If you live in Jamul you'd most likely answer "Russell Simmons on meth doing cartwheels" but if you're even remotely involved in the surf world you'd answer: "The D-R Doctor Dane Reynolds"! So obviously we were rootin for Dane to take that pretty $105K check but if it had to be anybody else on the CT, we're more than stoked that it was our good Aussie friend Eugene (for we all know that he's gonna have one hell of a party with that cash, drop me an email Mick, I'm game to froth)!
Gotta give it up to Mick during the final! He straight up dominated and tore lowers a new a-hole. On the other hand, Dane surfed the best comp I've seen him surf in quite sometime. He had been straight up bending trestles over and givin her a gosh darn good root sesh while innocent bystanders (like the Tin Man [credit Wiles & Kado]) stood there slack jawed and sizzle chested! The day FINALLY came where Dane made his first WCT final ever. Unfortunately, Poseidon had other plans for Dane...
May be the world is not ready for Dane to take over just yet. May be the Young Guns still need some polishing. May be the... NO, FUCK THAT! With this contest as proof, it's clearly evident that the rookies and the newbies are far surpassing their mentors and a new breed of rulers are upon us! If I were some of the tour vets, I'd be shitting my pants right now! Not only did Dane prove what everyone had been waiting years for (CT Final, Podium, etc), he threw down hacks, airs, carves, tails wafts, and spins that shattered the people who once invented and supposedly perfected them! Cheers to Mick for taking the Gold and hip hip hoo-ray to Dane for taking the World by storm! The age of the froth is upon us, you've been warned...
Disclaimer: if this post seems freakish, it's most likely due to my delirious, lethargic, sleepy, and nauseous state..
Words can't begin to describe what an epic collaboration that's jam packed with musical geniuses in this freaking phenomenal song! Don't take my word for it brah, give it a listen to and then go shralp your lil heart out!
Boost Mobile, move over, Hurley is in town and they are killing it! Today was the 2nd day of the 2009 Hurley Pro at Lower Trestles and needless to say there was some major shralpage goin down! I wouldn't personally know about the shredfest that went down amidst my work sesh all day e'ry day brah but from the vids and the pics it's evident that regardless of how the waves were, the CT's finest were firing!
Wardo in the mix frothing a sickelz backside air revo
The DoctoR is in the house, bounce mutha fucka bounce!
T Knox shall now go by the nickname "Birdman", All Hail!
So far stand outs include: the DR Doctor himself Dane Reynolds, Rob Machado, Josh Kerr-azy who threw down a sicky stylish backside air reverse followed by a pop shov, Kai Otts, Steds, T Knox, Powers, and of course Parko & Slates! Check out the event here, and check back later when I sober up and can give you a better write up of the froth that got foamed!
Had an Epic weekend raging for ASR and shredding with the boyz. Friday was freaking mental! Got uber weird at ASR with Po from AMPAL and then frothed to a Field Trip party where Paul Fisher was spinnin some classic electro hell tunes and straight up owning! With so much stomping, myrting, and really solid electro hell goin down, it's only fair that I leave you guys with some of my new favorite electro hell jams by Calvin Harris. Guy has some rad shit!
So I was frothing this mental myrt at myrtle court the other day when a shneaky William Shatner slipped me some freejoles and shralped his way into chandeliering one of my best floater tweaks ever! I was so livid that I called up the ranga army to foam his trog ass girlfriend and smoke his beers! Meanwhile Mr. Winkler was frothing so hard in the corner that he got heart murms and nightcrawlers so he had to call up sir gnarls barx to get him frocking again! Not Roots!
True Surfer Bros
If you are like most normal human beings, you're probably asking yourself right about now: "what the fuck is he talking about? guy has gone mental!" Ahhh do not despair my fine frothy friends, the time has come for enlightenment! They say igrnorance is bliss yeah? Well that's a load of shit cause if you still don't know what most of my slang words mean then you most likely feel like I did while trying to understand that one thing called "times tables" (ask my dad about that one, slowwwwww learner, burnt my calculator after 9th grade, TrueStory.com).
Not gonna lie, I feel kinda weird being the teacher for the day and not the one getting frothed by a ruler (or sometimes a wooden spork)
That's right folks, today is your lucky day! Why? Because I feel generous and I feel good, so I'm gonna let you in on a little secret today. What secret is that you ask? The secret to unlocking my vocabulary or "bro-cabulary" and a few of the bizarre ass slang words you so frequently hear. Unfortunately I have so many words and so many definitions of words but so very little time to define em all so what you see is a lil sample definition of each word and just a fragment of my entire brocabuloary mate! The key to unlocking my phenomenal word-smith-man-ship is just a click away! See that lil video below these words? Yeah, that's what I'm talkin about! Now stop listening to me and click the damn thing, I promise you won't be let down (unless you are expecting another severe epileptic seizure inducing video, this one is more minor inducing). Froth it myrt!
I'd like to thank Wolf for filming this, editing it, and making some MENTAL graphics! You've got quite the rad career ahead of you my man! Thanks for everything!
I'd also like to thank all the sponsors (Trojan, Freejoles, & Da 909) of the vid from the bottom of my heart! Your support keeps me truckin and your paycheck (which I have yet to see) keeps me chuggin! For all the rest of you out there, keep on watchin and I'll keep on frothin! -Hendonesia, Out, Late!
Standing prouder and more united than ever, USA 9-11
Remember Tim Curran's video entitled Faces? Heck, I sure do, watched that damn thang every single day in surf advisory in middle school! Think I know that video front to back like a mongoose knows a muskrat's asshole.
Remember the part when Timmy goes to da Nor Chore to hang with his local braddah rippa boy by da name of Kalani Robb aka da best goofy footer of all time? Yeah I sure do! If you're having trouble remembering the insane shred session that they have at Rocky's, this song oughta help ya a bit! (It also might help you remember running the mile, going on surfaris in the shagon wagon, pitting at SOMA, and puking on the side of the road before your YMCA heat haha!).
The breeze was nice today, the summer is cooling down, and I worked for the first time in about a month or so. Not to say that I haven't been doing shit while searching for gainful employment but it was a relief to get back in the swing of things and get my hands dirty (literally) in the work force. After a truly exhausting but rewarding day, all I wanna do is come home and stare at the sun setting over the LA city scape while listening to my new favorite chill song.
Thanks to The Mahogany Blog for discovering this more than phenomenal song by Josh Garrels. I find it kinda ironic that I literally put the phrase "elz" on the end of pretty much every other word (like Hendelz or surfelz or frothelz or myrtelz or C-lotelz or sometimes even coffelz) and this dudes name is Garrels (off by a letter but I'll take it).
For those of you out there who didn't know that behind my chiseled Poseidon-esque statue of a body and my Capone-esque attitude lies a softer artsy side that often dreams of peaceful surreal places, enjoys the smell of wet pavement from the morning rain, and isn't afraid to admit that I once cried during The Notebook (oh fuck I forgot this is on the fucking internet, Fuck that shit, I once punched a clown in his mutherfucking face!).
What a way to spoil a moment eh? Blehhh well may be some day I'll open up to that lucky myrt who wins me over with her mystical musical talents but until then I'm just gonna sit here on my city rooftop and listen to this song by Hsoj Garrels and just get lost in it all. Please don't wait for me, I lost my way again... hope you can do the same...
Why do I hate groms? I freaking hate groms because they have some how been given the power by Poseidon to rip harder than I do or ever will! I've been surfing for 15 damn years and I still have yet to even come close to landing a fackin air reverse or a "sushi roll" for that matter! Yet some how these little shits are boosting 6 foot air reverses, tail wafts that put my old skool larrys to shame, and new tricks and flips that make my jaw drop and my brows furrow!
Super star surf grom Kolohe Andino reminding me (yet again) how I will never turn pro
How do these lil fux shred so damn hard? And why wasn't I one of the chosen ones destined to shock humans with death-defying flare, flawless air attacks, and tail wafts that turn rubber necks into lock jaws?!
Jake Sylvester throwin down a mean ass tail waft growler!
There's only one thing that these damn groms will never take from us old farts, and that, my friends, is POWER! Ain't it a cryin shame that the spray that belongs to groms is never more than a mere 2 feet tall? And why is that? That's because they're balls still have yet to drop and the only hair below their head is a brussels sprout of an armpit!
Luke Davis, air reverse, just another walk in the park...
Anyways, I guess I'm just really jealous and pissed off that I will never be as good as these kids. Truth is, we all secretly love the lil fellers. All and all they freaking rip, they charge, and they probably get way more ass than all of us and they're only in their teens!
Owen Wright, fack I don't even know what to call this mental shit!
And just when you thought these kids couldn't get any better at a younger age, there was Ian Gentil. Ian's an uber grom coming in at the whooping age of 13! He's already better than me and you combined and I can't even imagine how hard he'll be ripping in 10 years when he'd still not even be my age! Check out this mental vid of this kid!
Cheers to the little guys, may your froth be filled with myrts and your stoke be blessed by Poseidon!
Gundom's cousin: Nat Young throwing down a proper air reverse like he was Nat Old
Groms to look out for:
Kolohe Andino, Ian Gentil, Luke Davis, Kai Barger, Conner Coffin, Andrew Doheny, Bones, Ford Archbold, Owen Wright, Nat Young, Koa Smith, Patrick Curren